Miles Coverdale (manos74) wrote,
Miles Coverdale
manos74

First: Happy birthday, phillyvixen!

...

I haven't been updating this much lately, simply because I haven't had too much to say. Winter seems to take the words out of my mind, sometimes.

...

Though I did want to share this with everyone:
So, a little while ago, I got back from the store, where I had purchased stuff for dinner tonight, as well as more vanilla vodka and orange soda, plus picking up a six of Shiner Bock for myself.

Something that some of you may know about me is that I have a great fondness for cheap, cheap beer. I mean, rankling cheap. Used to be in the distant past that Milwaukee's Best was a regular fixture of my weekend nights. I drank Pabst Blue Ribbon before the hipsters got their douchebaggy hands upon it, and I still like it, damn it. In Lincoln, Old Style was a regular resident of my fridge. Even now, on the more civilized East Coast, I regularly seek out the beers that are so cheap, nobody even buys them for the irony. And since moving out here, apis_mellifera has been watching in horrified fascination as I've returned from the liquor store, holding my latest bundle of catastrophe-with-a-pop-top.

But in all my long strange liver-poisoning time, I have never experienced Natty Boh. apis_mellifera has voiced her gladness--many times, and loudly--that it is not available here (so far as we know). But one day, I shall try it. Oh yes. One day, I shall.

All this is to provide background for the following exchange that occurred shortly after my return home, during discussion of the Shiner Bock I had purchased, my pointing out that I had returned with some mildly upscale beer after all, and apis_mellifera's gladness of said fact:

Me: If you've never had Natty Boh, how can you be so sure that it's bad?

apis_mellifera: Because I've talked with enough people who've had it!

Me: Oh, come on, it's not like it's poison.

apis_mellifera: It's cheap-ass beer! It is so poison! I don't even understand how you can drink the cheap stuff you get.

Me: ...okay, you know how in Dune, the Bene Gesserit can take the Water Of Life, which is deadly, and use their special oogity-boogity powers to change it into a sacrament and not die from it? That's kind of like me and cheap beer. ...(pause)... I am the Kwisatz Haderach of beer!

apis_mellifera: [facepalming, but also helpless with laughter]

Me: "There is a cooler where none of us can open ... we are repelled by it, terrorized ... but one day, there will come a One, and he shall pull his forty from it and drink deep."

apis_mellifera: ...I don't know you.

Me: Oh, come on; is it as bad as Forrest Dune?

apis_mellifera: ...not the same!

Me:
"Other men have tried to seek the cooler."
"They tried and failed?"
"No. They tried and were carded."

apis_mellifera: You are not the man I married.
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