Well, I woke up one day
With an uncontrollable urge to get an MBA
A new-found hatred for the poor
And a burning desire to start a war.
So I went to my doctor and asked him,
"What the heck is wrong with me?"
And he just smiled and said, "Son,
Why don't you sign up for the GOP?"
Well, the next thing you know
I'm putting up posters of Ronald Reagan on my wall;
I got a collection of books by Milton Friedman,
And an autographed picture of Fawn Hall.
And I started working for my congressman,
And on the first day I got paid,
I took all of my money
And donated it to Contra-Aid.
Was a Teenaged Republican.
Well, the year was 1981,
And a new era had just begun.
We went from leisure suits to power suits,
And disco records to guns.
And we told the world that if you were politically left of center
That was reason enough to invade ya,
So to keep the world safe from the Communist threat
We went to a golf course called Grenada.
Then after we beat the enemy in about a week,
We decided to kick back,
And we planned our next vacation spots
In Panama and Iraq.
Meanwhile, back at the White House,
Anyone who wasn't extremely rich was persona non grata,
And Nancy Reagan said to "Just Say No"
To everything (except Frank Sinatra).
Was a Teenage Republican.
They promised to cut taxes, and
Increase defense spending by eight hundred billion.
Shooting for a balanced budget,
Give or take two or three trillion.
Well, I supported Reagan and I supported Bush
Because they both sounded so sincere.
But looking back on the 1980's now,
It all seems pretty clear;
Those guys were willing to do or say anything to get elected
And nothing was achieved;
The economy was destroyed,
And the American public was deceived.
Now I'm standing in an unemployment line,
My benefits are about to end;
I wish I could have signed up for the same welfare programs
The liberals tried to defend.
Was a Teenage Republican, and I can't deny it
I was a Teenage Republican (though I try to hide it)
I was a Teenage Republican.