Yes, I'm talking about Harlan Ellison's Disease (H.E.D.)
Want to know if you're a sufferer? Take this simple quiz!
--Believe that all rudeness = true honesty?
--Believe that attacking the vague strawman of "political correctness" shows you to be a seer of ultimate truth?
--Believe that diplomacy, compromise, and seeing things from someone else's point of view are just fancy ways to say "cowardice?"
--Often confuse personal opinions with objective truth?
--Often believe that just because your own opinions run contrary to others' that everyone else ought to celebrate you for your independent spirit?
--Often personally attack someone whose own personal opinions you disagree with?
--Personally attack said personal opinions with a profanity-to-content ratio approaching 1:1?
--Often confuse rigidity with personal integrity?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you could be suffering from H.E.D.
But you are not alone. And there is hope.
Please make your contributions to the Society to Prevent H.E.D. today. Send your contributions to:
The Society to Prevent H.E.D.
Behind the Wastebasket in the Men's Room at Duffy's Tavern
Remember, your contribution could keep today's foul-mouthed teenager from being tomorrow's cult classic.