Miles Coverdale (manos74) wrote,
Miles Coverdale

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Okay, I know nothing about psychology, so I'll have to defer to someone with a greater background in psychopathology than myself. But here's something I've noticed based on my own non-scientific observations.

It seems to me that there are two significant characteristics to an abusive personality. First, the abuser will always place the blame for the abuse upon the victim. (e.g., "I TOLD you to have dinner ready when I got home"; "I TOLD you to shut up, but no, you just HAD to mouth off to me, so now I gotta smack you") The victim's actions are held to be the ones at fault, and the abuser's actions are held to be reasonable responses to the victim's "transgression." What's significant is that the onus for the violence, whether physical or emotional, is placed wholly upon the victim--not only in the abuser's mind, but in the victim's mind as well, which allows the abuse to continue. (i.e., because the victim thinks--or, more specifically, is made to think--s/he "deserves it" somehow.)

The second significant characteristic is that the abuser, after placing the blame on the victim for the abuse, will then seek pity for the abusive actions. (e.g., "NOW look what you made me do!"; "This hurts me more than it hurts you!"; "You think I LIKE to hit you?!") In other words, the abuser compounds the guilt the victim feels, not only by giving the victim the blame for being abused, but also by making the victim feel sorry for the abuser. The consequences of the abuser's actions, in the abuser's own mind, are solely defined in terms of pain or inconvenience to the abuser hirself, never to anyone else.

Conclusions? Well, the abusive personality seems, at base, to be a solipsistic one...but then again, that seems like a pretty standard conclusion in psychology. A more interesting, or disturbing, question could be: Does this mean that a solipsistic personality is by nature an abusive one? (I say "disturbing" based on the high level of solipsism present in the child/adolescent personality...)

Of course, one is more than welcome to conclude that I should stay away from psychology and concentrate on my books instead.
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