Miles Coverdale (manos74) wrote,
Miles Coverdale

Hey kids!

Has the wide variety of Squaresoft games got you down?

Do you ever think to yourself "Man, I really want to play the Final Fantasy games, but I really can't tell which one's which... they all look the same!"

Well, son, you are so extremely wrong! Put down the sugary breakfast cereals, the sexy-and-violent television programming, and the crystal meth, pull up a chair, and get comfortable-- because we here at the Squaresoft Game Differentiation Laboratory (a wholly owned subsidiary of the Shin-Ra Evil Game Company, a division of the Shin-Ra Evil Electric Corporation Of Evil, a partnership with the Evil Shin-Ra Evil-Producing Company Of Evil. Shin-Ra: We Play God, So You Don't Have To) have produced a quick and easy tool to distinguish between our modern Final Fantasy games, and passed the savings on to YOU!

Your Guide To The Modern Final Fantasy Games

Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy X
Main character artificially created?YNYY
Main villain otherworldly in origin?YYYY
Hero and villain blood-related?YNYY
Main villain a long-haired bishounen?YNYY
Hero brings a sword to a gun fight?YYNY
Playable non-human characters?YNYY
More than one?NNYN
Main character a teenager?NYYY
Amnesia used as an excuse to cover up gaping plot holes?YYYY
Main character experiences a mental breakdown during the game?YNYN
Action slammed to screeching halt so that main character and main female character can get their freak on for the first time?NYNY
Annoyingly time-consuming sidequest involving chocobos?YYYY
Main character begins the game by being cocky and isolated, but ends the game having learned several important lessons about bravery, friendship, and heroism, and thus connects more deeply to people in general, most particularly with Main Female Character?YYYY
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