"Midgar has no Gackt. Midgar needs no Gackt."
...Yes, ladies and gents, it's one of those days.
And with thinking about what people refer to as Grammar Nazism and suchlike, this was what resulted in my brain:
MY TEACHING CAREER, THE ABRIDGED VERSION, PART THE FIRST
Me: Good eeeevening, Fraulein.
Student: OMG tihs is too earlee lawl
Me: We are not sleepy.
Student: So wut u want lawl
Me: Ahh, the same portfolio your friends are giving me. Surely the syllabus mentioned there would be...interested parties.
Student: U gona give me A 4 it yeah lawl
Me: Oh, almost certainly. Do you have it?
Student: Uhhh nope!!!111one lawl
Me: Your grade is declining. Why don't you tell me where your portfolio is?
Student: OMG i ran outta time U R soooo meen!!111!! cant U give me a brake!!111
Me: Let me show you what I am used to, Fraulein. *brandishes red pen*
Student: wait wut OMG ONOES dun mark me down!!1111eleventytwo
Me: The time for that has passed.
Student: U dun havta do that I can rerite it!!111
Me: Yes, I know you will.
MY TEACHING CAREER, THE ABRIDGED VERSION, PART THE SECOND
Me: Yay, portfolios. Whoo.
Portfolio: IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR
Me: *opens portfolio*
Officemate: Don't look at it!!!
Sucky Student Writing: SHOOP DA WOOP
Department Chair: You fail at life.
Me: Heal plz.
I would very much like two fingers of bourbon and a nice long nap right now.