I felt like sharing some acidic laughs with people, so: Here are several reviews of albums that (in)famous rock critic J.D. Considine wrote for Musician magazine during the 1980's.
Please note that these reviews are quoted in their entirety.
Quiet Riot, Condition Critical
Kansas, The Best Of Kansas
"Why did I expect this album to be blank on both sides?"
Indigo Girls, Strange Fire
"For white girls who have considered suicide when an acoustic guitar is enuf."
Nicolette Larson, All Dressed Up And Nowhere To Go
"For those of you who believe, like I do, that the level of a female vocalist's talent is directly proportional to the amount of clothes she wears on the album cover, be advised that on this album, Larson is wearing a towel."
Michael Sembello, Bossa Nova Hotel
"I could call Michael Sembello's music Michael McDonald with a rhythm machine, but that would be unnecessarily cruel to McDonald. And the rhythm machine."
The London Quireboys, A Bit Of What You Fancy
Mannheim Steamroller, Fresh Aire VI
"For those people who really like the idea of digital audio, but who don't care much for music."
Pink Floyd, A Momentary Lapse Of Reason
"Further proof that you can't listen to a light show."