Ten references I expect my nearest and dearest [for certain values of "nearest and dearest"] to get (excepting, of course, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Star Wars):
1. Either I get my money by Evensong tonight, or... YOUR BOTTOM SHALL WISH IT HAD NEVER BEEN BORN!!
2. Well, hel-looooooo Mister Fancy-Pants!
3. Leathermen don't get nervous, leathermen don't get nervous, leathermen don't get nervous...
4. [If memory serves me correctly...] / (Watakushi no kiyoku ga tashika naraba...)
5. Okay, Mommy and Daddy are having a little fight, but that doesn't mean we've stopped loving you. Now go fetch Daddy a pack of smokes and an arterial blood gas test.
6. You can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.
7. For the love of God, Montresor!!
8. My teen angst bullshit has a body count.
9. I'm... I'm sorry I caused all that cancer.
10. This is the eleventh draft of this letter, and each one has started with those words, including the horrible version in rhyme, so I suppose they stay.