And I guess... I appreciate all the kindness, but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Because there's always a little warning voice in the back of my head, telling me that by accepting these kindnesses, I've put myself into some sort of debt. And it's a debt that I'm going to have to pay back one day, even if only karmically. And I'm deeply afraid I won't be able to make good on it. Because I've never been very good at expressing my appreciation for... well, for most anything, really.
So I'm scared. And that turns into anger.